Up and down, and up again.

2003. College. Overwhelmed. Didn’t know what to do. I was only 16. It was a whole new world (stop singing). I was a good student. Didn’t cut class, did all my HW. I think majority of the kids that is in their first year will pass all their subjects. Well, that was me. I became a sophomore. Nothing changed. Until I met this girl, again.

My cousin was a frosh so he didn’t have friends to hang out with. I went to his classroom so we could chill. I saw this girl, and I said, “ G, Si *** ba yan?” Haha. I was right. Days passed and we (me and the girl) started talking. Exchanged digits. a lot of relationships are created in college. Simple, theres a ton of fish in the ocean and you can really pick who you want. 

We started dating. And I think, I feel inlove with this girl. For the first time in my life man, haha. Who knew. I started to cut classes to be with her cause we didn’t match scheds. And I got used to it. I failed all of my subjects that term. But im not saying that it was because of her, it was my decision too. 

It became a habit. Skip class to be with her. I was like a junkie that was so hooked into this drug, I didn’t care anymore. 2years of my college life was out the window.

08, we broke up. And I took it so bad. SO BAD. Its normal when you break up with the one you love. The one you thought that would never leave you and grow old with. I was young, and STUPID. Haha. I know, right? 

After that, I continued to ditch school for a couple of years. Got into the cliché stuff. Drugs and alcohol. I thought that it would help me recover from the pain. But it didn’t. it just made me feel free. Free from all the memories that I play in my mind when I close my eyes. 

I think it took me a whole year to move on. Hassle shit. Haha. At least right? I tried doing all the things I did before she came along.. 

Thanks to Sir Leo and Dean Jerry who granted me an extension to finish up. I owe you guys. Back to school. Haha. When I came back, it was different. We had a new building. SDA. It was so nice people thought that it wasn’t a school. Haha. By the way, i shifted twice. My first course was Technical Theather, the second one was Production Design. Now, im a AB-Photography major. Anyways, Sda gave me the drive to study again. not because it was pretty, but because it was like playing. I mean, we have fun while we learn stuff. Whats better than that huh? Haha. 

So I was a student again, problem was I didn’t have friends anymore, the only ones were the guards and the lobby guards because they know me from way beforeeeeeee. An oldschool student. Haha. All of my batch were gone. They graduated already. One day, I was smoking at Ministop. This guy was sitting alone too, and I was sure he was one of my classmates. so we started talking. Small talk, the usual talk in school. “may class ka?”. After that, we became best buds. Miguel Castor was his name. Haha. And he gave me a huge circle of new friends. Thanks to him, I met Rc O’Connor and Chino Taa, both AB-Photo majors. 

Rc, Chino and I were inseparable. When someone was missing, people would wonder why. Or they would ask us why we weren’t complete. That’s how tight we were. 

We did photoshoots together. I mean, not just in school, but every location possible. We have a bond that’s better than brothers. Haha. We did everything together. Even on weekends we’d meet up and just hang. 

But Rc had to leave for the states. Now people are used to seeing just me and chino. Haha. Its kinda sad, cause yeah, we miss him, but everything happens for a reason right? So its all good. Haha. 

When Rc left, me and chino had to find a replacement. Haha. A lot took his place, Ronan Capili, Bhu Albino, Rupert Tandoc, Aina Cuanan, Jay Bravo and Joy Cruz. 

These people I consider my real college friends. cause my batchmates are gone. Haha. We don’t talk to each other anymore. I think theres a couple of them that are still connected to me in a way. Denise Ang and Amanda Nava. Haha. Thanks guys. 

Now, as I say goodbye to my beloved school, College of Saint Benilde – School of Design and Arts, and close my college life after 8 long years, I can only say that if I didn’t take this long, I wont be who I am today. No Regrets. And I promise you that, we will see each other again. P.S. Stop singing. Haha.

Magkakaibigan.

Isang samahan na walang katulad. Na tipong di mawawala ng ganon ganon nalang. Alam mo yung pag nakita mo yung isang taong parang ikaw? Tipong matutuwa ka na masasabi mong “ puta, ang angas din nito ah, sarap maging tropa.” Dun mo malalaman na hindi ka nag sosolo sa mundo nato. Pero pano mo malalaman na tunay mong kaibigan ang isang tao? San mag sisimula yan? Di naman porket parehas kayo ng gusto, eh magiging mag tropa talaga kayo. Ano yung paraan para malaman mong walang gaguhan sa pagkakaibigan?

Ako, naranasan ko ng mag karon ng tropang solido. Yung simula bata palang kami mag kasama na kami, kaso nong lumaki na, nag iba na bigla siya. Yung ugali niya di ko nakayang sakyan. Yung hangin na sinasabi, sobra na. bagyo na ang dating. Kaya ngayon, mag kaibigan padin kami, pero din a ganon ka solido. Di na dikit na dikit.

Ang mahal na mahal kong Tattoo Artist ko. Juki Grafia at Heps Ercia. Ibang klaseng kasiyahan ang binibigay niyo sakin. Saludo ako sainyo.

Di naman lahat ng tropa ko masama. Haha. Anajn naman sila Chino Taa, Aina Cunanan, Joy Cruz, Jay Bravo, Bhu Albino, Cate So, Ronan Capili, Rupert Tandoc, Rc O’connor, Migs Castor, Keen Calapine at ang buong AB-Photo na kasama ko ngayon. Sila ung mga kaibigan ko talaga dito sa CSB. Kasi alam naman natin na di ko talaga sila kasabay sa pag pasok dito. Iba iba kami ng taon, pero isa lang masasabi ko. PANALO. Sila ung tipong di na mawawala yung pag kakaibigan hangang sa dulo ng mundo, kasi yung mga tunay kong kasabay, wala na. 2 nalang ata yung nakakausap ko talaga at masasabing kaibigang tunay. Mga propesor ko na hindi ako pinaplastic, (kung tinatamaan ka, OO, ikaw un!) Salamat sainyo. Lalong lalo na kay Leo Santos. Ikaw lang ang nag tiwala sakin nong lahat ng tao tingin sakin wala ng kinabukasan.

Jun Barramedsss and Jao Vitug.
Photo by Inez Moro

Mga luma kong kaibigan na kahit anong mangyare ay hindi ako iiwan sa ere, na kahit patayan na ang laban, nasa likod ko padin kayo. Sila Ruby Taday, Mark Patoc, Jorge Villon, Roman Torres, Jovic Salas, Tin Salas, Rocel Taday, Mond Reputana, Mac Romero, James Pollicar, Rainiel Cabunas, Bog Tuazon, David Wrench, Chups Carlos, Weng Manlangit, Ivan Villegas, Alo Calomot, Toy Leones, Aiz Labay, Bagz, Don Dela Rosa, Migs T.Leon at yun isa kong tunay na kaibigan na si Divine Ingente. Alam kong may mga naiwan akong pangalan, pero di ibig sabihin nun na di kayo kasama sa listahan ko ng mga tunay na kaibigan. Alam ko alam niyo sa puso niyo kung sino kayo.

Sainyong lahat, SALAMAT. Lahat kayo ay may kontribusyon sa buhay ko. Di ako magiging ganto ngayon kung di dahil sainyo. Isang malaking utang na loob to mga pards.

Tinta

Juki Grafia. Tattoo Artist.
Photo by Joy Cruz

Intense pain, like no other.

Some say its an addiction, others say its not worth it.

Back in the day, tattoos weren’t accepted. Prisoners, gang members and rockstars were the only ones that were allowed to have tatts. Anybody else, they were discriminated. I don’t get the whole thingamajig about getting inked. To me, it was amazing, and its still is.

The first time I had the urge to get a tattoo was back in elementary. I used to watch wrestling and the wrestlers had tatts all over them. One guy had flames on his head, it was nooooice. Haha. But then, of course my parents were like, “you cant have a tattoo, because you wont be able to get a job when you grow up.” So.. I had no choice, had to erase the thought of getting one. Too bad.

Highschool. WILD! New school, new people. I met Don. He had wicked tattoos. We became buddies. I envied him. Oh well.

I was into music too and I had a band. We used to play rapcore. Cheese, Greyhoundz, Slapshock were my influences. And all of them had ink! Haha.  

I bugged my mum about it, but nothing happened. Haha. I tried getting a henna tattoo, it sucked, period. Haha. Every time there was a guy or girl, that had a tattoo would look at me with a smirk. Its like their saying that I was pathetic because my tatt was a henna. Fuck’em.

College! Freeeeeeeeedoooooom! Haha. 2006 – my first tattoo. YEBA! It said “KAPATID” in Alibata, its our ancestors writing.

 

I was so happy! Haha. But then I wanted more.

2008, I had my second tattoo. This tatt was closure for me. See, I had a 5-6 year relationship with this girl. She was special. We wanted to get identical tatts. A red star on the wrist. But then we had to part ways…  and it was a big deal for me. (that’s a different story.) I got a bunch of stars, with a lot of swirly thingys to represent how hard it was for me. And I have a teardrop colored in red. You do the math. Haha. Im no emo though. Haha. 

photo by chino taa

My third one was last year, 2010. I got two. Haha. An ambigram of my middle name, and a rhasta swirl on my elbow.  My middle name because it’s a middle name. gets? Haha. We seldom use our middle name thats why I wanted to get it tattooed on me and its my mums last name. =)

 The rhasta swirl, because I was into reggae and I loved Bob Marley, his kids that make music (Damian & Ziggy) and The band FRANCO.  I loved anything that had a twist of reggae. I even got dreads. Haha. I was really into it.

I got tattoos for my birthday. I have this circle in my hand that I always kiss right after I make the sign of the cross. This circle represents me and my mum. And I have some waves the represent the flow of life. Its not finished yet but its pretty nice. Haha.

photo by Joy curz

Im just waiting for the day that I can get a Japanese art dragon with some waves and cherry blossoms plus a hanya mask. Im reserving my left arm for that. I want a full sleeve. But then again, my mum wont let me. So, the wait continues.. Haha.

Tattoos are used in a lot of ways. It can be art, it can also be a personal thing, and it can make your skin look good. Damn good. Haha.

Our generation today has embraced it and Im very happy. Plus, I cant see myself working in an office, so it’s a win-win for me.

Now tell me, am I an addict? Haha.

Almost Famous.

Noy(roadie), Me, Jeriko(vocals), Gian(drummer), Gerby(bassist), Ralph(photog.) and Kim(keyboards).

Remember the movie? It was about a teenage journalist writing for Rolling Stone magazine while covering the fictitious rock band Stillwater, and his efforts to get his first cover story published.  One of my favorite movies of all time. Back when I first saw it, I was like, I want to be that guy, who travels with the band, do crazy stuff with them and all that. then it happened.

A friend of mine was friends with this upcoming band. The Anak Band. Fronted by the son of the famous Freddie Aguilar. 

They wanted to make a DVD of their gig at Palawan. Having HD quality video on our cameras, we decided to take the job.

Day One. We landed in Palawan with a bang! Haha. I felt like a rockstar when we got off the plane because a lady was making us wear these “welcome necklaces” like what they do in Hawaii. Haha. Followed by a motorcade around the city.

 

Day Two.  Woke up early to have breakfast. Yum.

Set up. Sound Check. Show Time.

Backstage was the best. Haha. Celebration. Boom!

Day Three. Manila Bound.

Being part of the team was definitely amazing. I had no idea that it would be so much fun. Walking around the airport, “Kwentuhan” while chugging down the mixed drink of Sting Energy Drink and Cossac  Blue Alcohol by Gerby. (The Bassist), The late night foodtrips, The side comments of Kim (Keyboards) and how Gian (Drummer) bullied Kim after every corny joke. Haha.

Aside from the gig, my favorite part of the trip was when we were drinking and Jeriko (Vocals) was fixing his guitar strings. He was telling us his story. How he grew up, first time he played guitar – how he learned to play, and being the son of KaFreddie. It was so pure and I felt it. 

A priceless story. 

“Ngayon, alam ko na ang ibig sabihin ng tunay na tao.” I told a friend that because of them (The Aguilars) I saw the real meaning of being true to yourself, and how to stay grounded even if your, as we say, “Sikat”.

 I raise my lighter to them…  To our group. 

“Ito na ang taon natin.” – Jeriko Aguilar.

Cancer Stick.

How come people smoke? What do they get from it? Some say that the nicotine is addicting, but for others its the smoke that keeps them breathing. When I was young, I thought that a cigarette was part of a meal. Because after eating, most of the smokers would light one up. Every time I asked my parents about it they would just say that its for grown ups, and its bad for kids. 

When I was still living in Canada, my friends and I would always hang. We would go to this area in our village that looked like a forrest and just do bike tricks and share stories. One time, my friend had a pack of cigarettes on him, and told us that we should try it. Haha. Silly kids do a lot of stupid things, and of course, peer pressure. So, I got the pack, opened it and boom! We were smoking in no time. I took my first drag, and didn't know what to feel. I just said to myself.. Damn, how cool am I? Haha. But then, after a couple of hits, I didn't see what was the big hulabaloo over smoking, and it didnt taste good. Maybe my parents were right after all, maybe I had to be old enough to get the point of smoking.
  

Now, not a day goes by without it. Different kinds too. Are you a Marl Red? Gold? or Black? I think it describes the personality of a person in what kind of cig they buy. If your reds, then your a true cowboy / tough SOB. Gold, your that average jo that goes with the flow, and black if your the cool type. (of course, thats what I smoke.) Haha. Every smoker has their own tricks when playing with the smoke. You can blow perfect circles, the smoothest bridge, and like my uncle, heart shaped smoke. It's pretty awesome. See, people today are so much different. I know some that they smoke like there is no tomorrow, others smoke occasionally. My friends dad will not survive without it, he tried to quit but then he got sick, I think his body got used to it and wont function without the smoke. Its their guilty pleasure. A cigarette is like a friend, it will not leave you until  the end.. 

The only vice that you can have anywhere. If people can smoke pot legally, I think they would, because its healthy, its Herbs. HAHA. But thats a different story. I'll try to write about the sweet ganja next time. 

I feel like a hypocrite. Im having one as I write this. It helps me think about stuff and to get relaxed. Its like an anti-stress pill, its one of the reasons why people today smoke a lot. Its the ultimate partner of alcohol, like strawberry jam and peanut butter. They look and taste good together, they bring out the best in each other. Haha. Going back to my story, now, I understand why we smoke. Haha. I guess that makes me a grown up then. We smoke to get away from reality. To have this different kind of feeling that makes us complete in a way that gives us the edge that we look for. Well, thats what I feel when I smoke. I know it doesn't make sense, but sometimes you just have to feel it to understand. Right? Its not about looking cool anymore, its a whole new ball game.

At the end of the day, its just an ordinary cancer stick. We will die because of it, but... at least we go away smiling, knowing what we did made us happy, and thats the most important part in life. Haha.